Terry Jones wants to burn something.

I suggest The Turtle and the Universe (I hear it’s on sale at Amazon).

If you do so, Pastor Jones, I promise I won’t blow anything up. I won’t riot in the streets. I won’t even write a strongly-worded letter. Of course if I did, you’d probably burn that, too.

But why burn a children’s science book?

Well, take a look inside and the reasons become quite obvious. I claim that the Earth is 4.6 billion years old. I claim that dinosaurs and people never walked together. I lead children (innocent children!) down a path of moral decay, into a world where they believe in, no I can’t type it, you know, the e-word.

So here’s what I suggest you do, Pastor Jones. Purchase 1000 copies of my book. Toss them in a heap and light them on fire. Dance around the bonfire and celebrate the souls you’ve just rescued. It’ll make you feel better. Do it for the children!

And, on the odd chance that Pastor Jones isn’t a regular reader of Turtle Universe (unlikely as that may be), any of you loyal readers out there (both of you) are encouraged to get the ball rolling by purchasing your own copy of The Turtle and the Universe and having it shipped directly to:

Dove World Outreach Center

5805 NW 37th St
Gainesville, FL 32653

If it works out, just turn the other cheek. It’ll all be ok, really it will.